Things can be presented so seriously that you need a great deal of humour to see the message
7 sessions with Doctor Klik. Unplugged.
1st Session. Introduction. The raving mentality of medical science
Welcome to the camera man. We are pleased to having you with us in this exiting house! Today we want to deal with some very serious topics. Generally, you should not ridicule serious matters. Sometimes, however, matters can be so serious that you have to ridicule them to realize the true meaning.
We are going to have closer look at a psychiatrist's education. You can't, however, receive education as a psychiatrist. You can receive an education as a medical practitioner, and then you can receive practical training in a psychiatric section and eventually become a psychiatrist. You don't learn so much about the mentality or psyche – the psyche doesn't seem to be a part of medical science. If you do talk about mentality, mostly it's in the sense of "raving mentality" – the word itself doesn't really mean anything. It looks very much like the work of art, hanging on this wall. It may also be described as a kind of "raving mentality". It has been created by a former resident of Gaderummet – like a portrait of the core of Gaderummet. Yes. I think this is the essence. May I introduce myself? My name is Doctor Klik. I shall try to explain this extensive universe of psychical problems, psychical destabilisation and psychical ... "whatever".
2nd Session. Education and method
Welcome to Doctor Klik's training seminar. We are going to evaluate on how psychiatrists may be supported after their training when they are going to help people in distress. We are bringing into our treatment room – not into the studio, as you might think – a psychiatrist with his patient. Before doing this, however, as it is an extremely delicate matter to deal with very vulnerable human beings, we must examine the function and nature of a psychiatrist. And here we have a very very long history. During thousands of years at the beginning of our social history, we simply killed these people who were a burden to the community. And for the last 200 years, when becoming more concerned about humanity, we just locked them up. And since 1950 - 1960, where special medicine was developed, they have been allowed to come out among us normal people if they were properly medicated, and so did not seem like the rest of us. The way you train psychiatrists to deal with strange behaviour, which you don't really understand and which has been unknown for many years, is to bring all these people with deviant behaviour on a big stage with their therapist. Then a lot of new colleagues, who haven't tried this before, are watching the show. Then we have the old professors and nestors sitting behind making sure that everything is done properly. And if the therapist doesn't use the right treatment according to the person's diagnose, they of course interfere. It may seem improper, but you also express your opinion loudly from your seat in the auditorium, if you disagree with the diagnose or find it too vague. End of 2nd session.
3rd Session. The long march towards the patient
Welcome to the third session of the training seminar. When working with a thing like this, it is very important that your appearance is trustworthy. No dirty fingernails, no distracting details that may bring confusion and lead the patient's thoughts to yourself. Only the patient should be in focus because the disease of the mind is in there somewhere and must be diagnosed so you can define it, build it up and treat it. That is why it's important what you wear. Your dressing should emphasise the seriousness of the situation so the patient believes in you. This procedure has proved to be a gentle expulsion of the vicious ideas that medicine is bad for you. We shall now try to arrange a session where the patient will accept his medicine – better than his own mother!
4th Session. The reliable argumentation
Welcome to this 4th session. As you may have noticed I am wearing serious work clothes. But this is indeed a very serious mission. When approaching a task – any task, for that matter, even going to the loo and wiping your ass – then you have to prepare in your mind the task at hand. Otherwise it's impossible. The difference between even the most incompetent builder, whose houses fall apart, and for instance the bee is that man is able to build up the project in his mind before realising it. And we have to work with a human being. Let's assume this is it. Let's also assume that it has gone down with a disease in the mind. We put it here. Now, how do you treat a person like this? We know it's a difficult problem, so probably nobody knows the answer. You check out the availability of pills. There are different sizes. The big pill is called a horse-pill. There are also different colours. Due to budget reductions in Gaderummet we only have one blue colour. Fortunately we don't distribute pills, because then they would all have to be blue. Now, how does a pill like this work? It's a complicated process, but extensive experimental studies have indicated that their effects are similar to the well known euphoriants of our culture, alcohol, cannabis and a lot of other drugs. They may produce a temporary change of your emotional life – you may even have some imaginations that you have never experienced before – imaginative thoughts and nice feelings that you want to repeat, so therefore you want to keep on taking the pills, and eventually you become a drug addict. Also, some times when your are down, things that you can't control may pop up. Fortunately, there are other pills that can prevent this from happening – or increase the effect if you like. Many pill addicts are quite familiar with their local pharmacy! They can be divided in UPS and DOWNS. They can adjust their lives almost like a small engine which is always top-tuned without standing still – without ever sleeping, so to speak. Surely, there must be other solutions than pills, you may ask or think. And the answer to this is very simple. NO! End of 4th session.
5th-6th Session. Side-effects
Please remember that this is serious business. So you have to adapt your terms to the situation at hand. Before continuing our training sessions for psychiatrists and approach real human beings with mental difficulties, it is important to reflect on what might go wrong. In this 5th session we are going to look at the side-effects. For today's session I have brought a very special specimen of a patient who unfortunately has become quite small... But still fully functional. All movements. Doesn't tip over. And finally when not moving – he's standing very still! End of 6th session.
7th Session. Beware
Welcome to this 7th session.
In the 6th session we realised that the side-effects due to a treatment like that can be very severe. Here it is obvious. But we also have to admit that it could have been much worse. And when, finally, the patient doesn't move, then he doesn't even shake! You could almost believe that the patient is dead – and maybe that is what the patient wanted. But things might turn out even worse. Here is another example. These are also side-effects. Being a therapist you should be happy that the patient is unable to speak, because then the patient can't complain, and in this case we have also made sure that there is no complaints commission for small elephants, who are maltreated by therapists, you can complain about. We have discussed a lot why things could develop like this – in some cases with good side-effects, in other cases with bad side-effects. This little elephant's girlfriend is not happy. Two tons bigger! Of course, it might be the pill which is defective. This may be due to the fact that, when treating them, we forgot to put cloths and other stuff on the table, so when facing a very emotional situation you could cry. Instead they attacked the therapists. So, to all of you who might get the unfortunate thought not to cry when handkerchiefs are available: Beware! Thank you and good-bye. Next week...
Gaderummet February 2008